I am not sure if anyone of you has heard about the term “Trauma bonding”.
Have you ever felt strongly attached to a person regardless of the intermittent abuse for a long time and you neglect the red flags because of your urge to be with them?
That’s when you let yourself bullied and do nothing about it. That’s when you feel sorry about yourself when you’re related to someone you think you’re in love with.
It is a strong influential bond with a person you’re related to, in the terms of fear, enthusiasm, sexual desires, or sexual fantasies, and you just prohibit your senses to notice his real behavior.
The phase when you don’t know if you’re in love or simply blinded with the expectation of holding out for love, you are actually having a trauma bond you choose to neglect.
You feel like walking in the darkness with practically no light and the pattern of attention leathers the bruises as the hostile and belligerent type of love and you readily accept that.
You feel lowest at your self-esteem and you’re even drawn to the verge of breaking down but you don’t leave.
You can calm the antagonistic side of their personalities and you cannot foster alterations in them. It is not a fair deal to augment a contract with someone who is not willing to demonstrate the same amount of effort and time. You’ve to be responsible for the betterment of your mental health.
Do not rush into it. Take your time as much as you want. Get hold of the person’s habits. Do not ignore the narcissistic traits. Do not let anyone overrule your decisions. Do not avoid your gut feeling. Do not feel connected because you share the same tragedies. Remember you are you, you got over it. Do not let anyone push you to the worst.
The consistent manipulation throughout your relationship isn’t healthy. You’re not indebted to them.
Signs that you have bonded over Trauma-
- Taking responsibility for the abusive person’s wrong deeds.
- Defending them in front of people who have observed that something is just not right.
- Distancing from friends, acquaintances, family members, or neighbors.
- Disinclination from the people who try to intrude or discontinue the bond.
How to transpire disconnect in the bond?
1. Emphasize the gift of now-
Stop promising yourself that the person you have bonded with, will change. It is never going to happen.
2 Don’t avoid red flags-
Begin to learn about enormous red flushed labels and do not allow them to diminish your assurance about life.
Coddling yourself, journaling, meditating, practicing passion, and keeping good thoughts in mind can be of great help.
Stop being bonded over the trauma.
It doesn’t heal anyone but it worsens.
Step out of it. You may have sleepless nights but you’ll be okay!.
Wish you all that makes you happy.
Because that’s what matters!
Never let your trauma define you.
Guest Author: Dr. Ridima Kamal
Dr. Ridima Kamal is a dentist and is currently pursuing her Masters in Public Health from Amity Institute of Public Health, Amity University, Noida. Along with her academics, she is working as a content writer for Trekkers Of India. Her contribution in Literature is remarkable as her first poetry book “Mithak aur Yaadein” got published in February 2020. She also worked as a volunteer in Amity International Literature Festival 2020. Her area of interest is Mental Health and is presently working on her research regarding the same. She believes in spreading alertness about the mental health issues.